“Honey, do you want your egg yolks yellow as the sun and flowing like a river? Or, would you prefer your breakfast scrambled with emotion, clinging to a plate of security?”
Husband grunts from behind newspaper.
“If I had more time, I’d grapple with a richly complex frittata, ripe with contradictions where strong-willed yolks unite with timid artichoke and red pepper to create a richly formed union of flavors.”
Her man lets out another grunt.
“Do you want toast richly-layered with butter, or a muffin bulging with blueberries? Or, maybe you’d like syrup dark with authenticity meandering across the landscape of a pancake. And juice weighted with the tangy scent of oranges.”
Husband stands, places the newspaper on the table and says he’s going to MacDonald’s.
Writer leans against counter, sighs and buoys her sagging spirits with the knowledge MOTHER OF PEARL will be releasing on September 1. Maybe then her inspiring way with words will be appreciated.
Or, at least she hopes.
Comments 13
Gasp, is that true? if so get him a fried egg Tshirt like Carol Burnett used to get… is this true did he do that? I’m kidnapping you…. and my email is vrush729@aol.com!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for commenting, Virginia. And no….this was a spoof post poking fun at how writers sometimes use too much descriptive language. But my husband laughed when he read it!
Love this, Kellie! At first I was thinking how ungrateful your man was at not wanting your huge selection of breakfast. A reread had me laughing. Thank you for sharing! And yes, I would like two eggs, the yellow yolks swimming in a delicate sea of white. 🙂
Thanks Lisa! Us writers can get a bit WORDY sometimes….huh?
Or, is that WE WRITERS….need to check my Chicago Manual of Style….or call Jane Thornton. Smiles….
I miss Jane! Can I request a clone?
You are too cute, Kellie.
Gave me a delightful chuckle for the day. Thanks.
Glad you appreciate my sick writer humor, Jackie.
This is SO how I think, Kellie. I’m gonna let loose and start talking this way to my husband!!
Already appreciating your inspiring way with words. Can’t wait ’til the grand unveiling!!!
Hysterical! I’m going to have to try that. Maybe find a good excuse to be taken out to IHOP?
Let me know if that tactic works, Marji!
That’s a hoot, Kellie! And everyone needs to read Mother of Pearl. Wonderful book!!
Thanks, Ane. I giggled writing the post. And thanks for the sweet words about Mother of Pearl. I’m anxious for readers to care about Barrie Graeber as much as I did. (does anyone else pick up books and read a chapter just to “re-visit” old friends?)